You can’t write tipsy without t-i-p:
A bartender’s advice for a good time out
By Matt Kaczmarek

The signs of spring are everywhere. Cherry blossoms, t-shirts, and outdoor happy hours are upon us. As classrooms empty and the patios at DC’s bars start to fill up, the SAIS Observer talked with Simone Levy, a bartender and friend of a SAISer, for a refresher course on proper American bar etiquette.

On tipping
“The standard tip is $1 per drink. Anything less is an insult and will piss off your bartender. Some people think that we make a lot of money, and in some cases it’s true; however, most people don’t know that most bartenders make minimum wage and work solely off of tips.”

On standing out from the crowd
“When I go out, I constantly hear people complaining about the bartender taking forever to get their drink order. If this is happening to you, it’s because you don’t stand out to the bartender.

“The best way to make yourself stand out is to leave a huge tip on your first round. I’ll usually give them $10 for a few beers. This seems like a lot, I know, but this is why you should do it: first, when you want your drinks, you want them ASAP. I’ve had bartenders point to me in the back of the crowd and ask what I want because they know I will tip them better than the people in front and they want to take of me because I’m taking care of them.

“Second, if you want a nice strong drink for your money, they will be sure to pour it for you. A lot of people don’t know that bartenders have a “comp tab.” We are free to buy drinks on this tab for whomever we want. Do we use it for people who tip well? You bet! You don’t need to keep tipping this much, but make sure you continue to tip fairly well or else you lose your privileges.”

Asking for a stiff one
“Never ask the bartender to pour you a strong or stiff drink. What makes you so much more special than anyone else paying for drinks at the bar? If anything, it makes us want to pour you a weaker drink and sometimes we will.”

On refills
“Never wave your glass at the bartender. It’s a pet peeve and we might end up ignoring you. Never whistle or wave at them (this includes your server too). Instead, get your money out and try to make eye contact with them. We know why you’re there and what you want, just give us a little time to make our way over to you.”

On common courtesy
“Even if you’re a regular and you tip well, demands make us really mad. I get people all the time that say, ‘Hey, Simone, I need another drink.’ You’ll be amazed how far a ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ will get you.”

On attempting a return
“Drink strength varies depending on your bar. There are tricks some bars use to make you think a drink is stronger when it’s really not. Some bars pour alcohol down the straw so that first sip is stronger than the rest, and some use a cheaper brand of alcohol so your drink is not as smooth.

“If the drink is too strong, it’s okay to ask for more coke, sprite, or sweet and sour, just don’t ask us to water down a long island or tell us your martini is too strong. Those drinks are mostly or all alcohol, so if you prefer something weaker, just steer clear of those altogether.”

Tip for what you drink, not just what you buy
“If the bartender buys you a drink, or a round of drinks, don’t forget to tip him well. When you do, he’s likely to do it again. If your bartender buys you two rum and cokes and two beers, give him $10 or $20, he just bought you at least $20 worth of drinks, not including a tip. He saved you, and the money you leave goes directly in his tip jar.

“The same goes for happy hour. Even if the drinks are only $2 each, the standard $1 per drink tip rule still applies. You’d be amazed how many people will sit at a table for three hours, drink eight $2 drinks, and then leave a $20 to cover a $16 tab and three hours of service. A comparable non-happy hour tab would be over $50, and a $4 tip on a $50 tab is just insulting.”

On paying for the show
“Time matters, regardless of how much your tab is. If you’ve been sitting at someone’s table or bar for hours, they deserve to be compensated for the opportunity cost of turnover. When I go to a restaurant and sit and hang out after I’m done, I’ll tip them extra. Let’s say my bill is $60, but if I’ve been sitting and watching a game for 2 hours, I’ll tip them at least $20.”

Whether hitting Fox and Hounds for Friday afternoon pre-happy hour, or an after dinner drink at the Mayflower, these helpful tips are sure to set you apart from the rest, and maybe even land you a free drink or two. Happy spring, SAISers.

Matt Kaczmarek is a 1st year MA candidate in Latin American Studies